crappy mood...

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words:

Cigarette :A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other

Lecture :An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

Conference :The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :The art of dividing a cake in such away that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room :A place where everybody talks,nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic :A book which people praise, but do not read.

Etc. :A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee :Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience :The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb :An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher :A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat :A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Father :A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor :A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bill.

p/s:i'm crappy mood now 'cause having written test on thursday and i'm not prepared for it =.=''